i have abs………olutely nothing

(via bowiesnipples)

85,751 notes

sometimes when I’m angry or stressed or sad I think about whales just swimming around in the ocean, doing whale shit. like, they’re the biggest goddamn mammals on the planet. they don’t have time for little problems. there’s too much chill-ass whale shit to do.
basically what I am saying is that whales are my happy place.


a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via wearethefoolish)

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I heard if you whisper “alright alright alright” 3 times in front of a mirror Matthew McCounaughey appears and gives your career a makeover while spouting metaphorical life philosophies. 

but if you say more than 3 times André 3000 appears asking that you be on your baddest behavior.

(via wearethefoolish)

31,716 notes


trying to take a picture with your friends with a phone that doesnt have a front camera

(via etakotoole)

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what i if told you

you the read first line wrong

same with the second


(via wearethefoolish)

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I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou (via psych-facts)

(via soulofsong)

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